Where is the intersection of freedom and love? Love must be chosen and there is... Sacrifice involved? A little of giving up of oneself for the sake of the two. The partnership. Do any of us want this? Except in a moment of desperation. But it must be the most beautiful thing when we let it work. When we surrender... I think so.
I sit in solitude I wander through crowds I am both always and never alone...
Mountains in the Wild West of America dreamed for me before I could breathe.
Roman slaves and servants and emperors made me too..
I grew up in Rome lost and dreaming on the streets..
I am learning how much and how little I am.
How everything is nothing and still of infinite worth..
My work is frail like my body but strong with the force of the fire within me.
Sparking bits of jewelry scattered
Old and loved and known so well then rebirthed for a new moment a new old self
Something of newness I find here now in a heart's ancient wisdom
Planted rooted so long ago stretching into ever-changing winds and weather
Something different in all my wanderings here now before my eyes..
A treasure found that is so imperfect so not ready but far too beautiful to let go of...
So my heart here courageous surrenders to hold its love to lift it up to heaven to let it be so incomplete to wait apart and intimate at once
A glimmer of a thought too sacred to move on from...
To act but not in desperate impatience
Intentional in all of it
Waiting when to sit on the impulse will give strength
To the action and to the heart
As Rodin learned among the wild animals
Waiting for the very last moment and then longer...
A blazing hot sun and a mercifully tumultuous breeze that plays with the sound of the water and in my hair.
I am alone in the city with the music of river currents breaking themselves over rocks.
All of my money is spent but it happened in Paris and there are no regrets.
C'est ma vie.
Laundry morning slash gypsy moving day I run around Murray Hill in my first ever rubber-soles shoes. I don't wear rubber. But I'm telling myself I look like Gigi Hadid which would of course make it okay... Finish laundry make bed pack tiny gypsy suitcase. Brooklyn for a just a few minutes only but in that time I meet a tall Egyptian with a gold cross in his car and we talk about the Bible. About the genius of Joseph and the righteousness of Job.... Then I'm in Greenpoint with all the sweet molten candles burning and I stash the tiny gypsy suitcase and I drop the keys and I'm off to a train to Pennsylvania....
Tequila salt and laughter
Lights strung above us
Into the moment and everything ahead...
I am here alive meditating on all that my stories thus far have meant. The purpose I see is only for life. For art always for love yes for human relationships - these are the depth of the beauty of existence.
But always in a sense my journey is alone and yours and theirs and this is not as sad as it seems it would be as we find the love that surrounds... So the purpose I see now is all only for love. An all-consuming wild relentless love that absorbs everything else and sustains through eternity.
War-torn and expectant
I've been brought back I've been set free and delivered
Like the wild horses on the mountains in my heart
High-heeled boots step out onto familiar streets and I breathe
As I haven't since Paris on the Ponte Louis-Philippe
This is what I love and live for
Throwing myself off of cliffs
Finding delight and surprise
But I am afraid of everything
Blood and tears and agony are behind me but I am not made to go forward in the same
Circular seasons yield depth and grace rather than sameness
I give thanks to God
I arrive again and again my bloodstream sings I am in New York
On the road ahead
Travel dirt and joy and wind
Come to waves of heat
In billowy clouds and abundant rain
Seeking tea shops
Finding the friends I love and the openness
Finding forgiveness for the brokenness
For lack of presence for slower moments
Looking with nostalgia and love while
Striving with anticipation and joy
Where should I go and what should I do
There is such humility in the path I see ahead
And I'm afraid
Determination has been slow to arrive
That which is single-minded and resolute
Ahead are so many scenes and so many signs
And they tell me to open it all to the world
Humble your heart like the four-year-old self
I see ahead
Expand your heart and stand your ground
Roses perfume a circulation of conversation
And lights above are in steadfast romance
With an entire room
A table for one and two and three
Sparkling wines are everywhere
I learned in Paris of inner beauty and vibrancy
Months after I learn once again this philosophy of flowers
That life is blossoming for myself and through myself and all around this room
As gradually I grow into truer focus
To do the work and live the life
I find infinite complexity in the future
Absolute elegant simplicity in the moment
And the focus and the work and the life can be
Only in the moment
Ballet lives on Soho streets
Poverty and joy
As I am here in the beauty of all these trees
To find the breath to feel the moments to know the giving and receiving of love
Fantasies in my head synchronize into reality's richest scent
As wanderlust romances in the city streets
When darkest stormiest Paris skies ignite surprising bliss
Love finds its way to a mystery of joy
And this place has shown what was needed
To uncover treasures from velvet dirt
To surrender for love all and nothing
Breathing fresh air with espresso
Watching lives being lived in the sun
April rain in the skies singing songs
Dreams ignite my inner being with revelations
All that is needed is of the heart and mind
Seeds planted being to germinate a lively green
And my place has served me truthfully
The winds are wild and faith is a strong momentum
Walking cold quaint streets
White drifts above the violets
My bones sense summer
Inside of snow storms
Literary lounging day
Embracing my place
In snow drifts in wild woods
For a sunny place